The only thing I like more than hearing a cock stroker beg for permission is to let him think he’s going to get it. And my favorite way of doing that is to say yes, but only if…

If what, you ask? Well you can never be sure which route I’ll take but I promise you this: I am very skilled at choosing something nearly impossible to accomplish – the key word being “nearly”. Because the tease & denial pets I have introduced to this deceptive consent have actually succeeded twice in the past year. If you’re horny enough…maybe, just maybe, you’ll achieve that desperate orgasm too.

I might tell you that you can cum if you stroke…
– With only one finger from each hand
– Wearing oven mitts
– Between a dildo and a desk, no hands

Now picture how each of those conditions would affect your ability to get to that explosive finish line (since I doubt you’ve ever found yourself humping the silicone side of your new potholders)…

– One finger from each hand is awkward and jerky in a bad way.
– Oven mitts are dry and fingerless.
– Stroking between two unyielding surfaces – with the bonus mindfuck of one of them being a better specimen of manhood than you can aspire to – is hardly soft-wet-tight.

So consider this a caveat to all of you who call and recount “I’ve called you four times and you denied me three times and ruined my orgasm once”: if I detect a hint of a whine, I’ll gladly cave in. It will actually surprise you how easily I cave. Of course you can cum, you pitiful masturbator, but only if…

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